Archive for April, 2004

Ride the (Gravy) Train?

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

One look at the cover art of Gravy Train!!!!’s full-length debut Hello Doctor and you know that this is a “band” with a schtick. What could that schtick be? Well let’s look at some of their song titles: “Titties Bounce”, “Kottonmouth BJ”, “You Made Me Gay”, and “Pussy Thrusts”. The schtick is sex and lots of it — oral sex, gay sex, straight sex, it doesn’t matter.

The only problem is that the music is catchy as hell and I had “Hella Nervous” stuck in my head for weeks leading up to Gravy Train!!!!’s performance at Chop Suey in Seattle. There’s no way in hell I would’ve paid $8 to see only Gravy Train!!!!, but also on the bill were Paper Lions and I Am The World Trade Center — two Kindercore (well, when it existed) bands that I want to show support for whenever possible, especially after the Kindercore showcase at Colgate that started with only four of us there.

Driving to the venue, Yaeka and I were stuck at a stoplight and this group of kids crossing the street were wearing the most ridiculous 80s shit possible. I made sure to point the kids out and then we continued on our way. Well it turns out that these kids were going to the show…and everyone else there was dressed like them. Let me tell you, the 80s are apparently in in a very extreme way. Legwarmers? Give me a fucking break!

The show started early, 5:45 PM to be exact, so I wasn’t surprised there were only about 10-15 people as the Paper Lions took the stage to get their rock on. If we could make Cecelie’s look sort of more full with 4 people standing in a wall right in front of the band, couldn’t be that hard with 10-15 people right? Wrong, so in addition to having bad fashion, these kids also have bad manners and only one of them was willing to stand up in front with me and Yaeka. Boo kids! Boo! By the end of the set that girl had decided to go back with her friends so it was just the two oldest, most regularly dressed folks standing.

Up next was I am the World Trade Center. I thought that this cute pair would have better potential at getting the crowd up in front. They are catchy and dancy and I spotted the couple from the Mates of State show in the audience with that looked the same and liked to dance. Surely they would be dancing to some IATWTC action! Wrong! Totally fucking wrong! But no fear, out of leftfield comes a mid-late twenties looking woman, also dressed normal, but with huge sunglasses and dancing like she doing jazzercise! Whoa, you better watch out or you’ll get slugged in the head! I think the standing crowd peaked out at about 8 or so for IATWTC, dissappointing, but the duo was still into it, dancing cutely.

Anna Oxygen was up third and I was definitely curious because I’d heard the name around a lot and thought maybe it’d be some band kind of emo or who knows, maybe hardcore? Wrong! A single woman from Olympia in spandex is anna oxygen. A single performance-artsy woman. By this time more people were there, and some of the young ladies in the crowd were apparently big fans, singing along and following along to Miss Oxygen’s dance moves introduced prior to the different song. I took no part in dancing because I don’t know how to shake my rump and have no desire to.

Most intriguing about her performance was actually a secondary dancer. This other young lady (probably college age or so) had asked Anna if there was anything she could do to help during the show to which Anna responded “you can dance.” And dance she did! While she looked like she’d be a candidate to do the “Hippy Tornado” the girl sort of bounced around, maybe monkey-ish would be a good description. Sort of hopping and being tribal.

Okay, so the dancing wasn’t the intriguing part, it is trying to figure out the relationship between the dancer and Anna. I think Yaeka is right in suggesting that she was simply an obsessed fan that had gone to every AO show in existence making a point of saying hello every time because the body language was awkward and such. I denied this being the case due to their conversation before the show and the fact that she gave Anna a kiss (on the lips!) as she departed, but if they were friends she would’ve stuck around to hang out and watch…Gravy Train!!!!

Okay, so remember GT’s schtick. Okay, good. Now I was impressed to see that they actually played the keyboard parts on their songs live, however, there are four group members and just one person playing keyboards and one singing so what do the other two do during songs? Well new member, Lance Johnson, a very gay black man, simply strips down to whitey tighties and dance around rubbing his crotch in audience faces, making out with young men (definitly under 18 “that’s so statch lance!”), and bending over a lot.

There was a lot of talk about how the singer just got laid, etc. Yaeka and I hung out in back to avoid any crotch rubbing and took off immediately following the set as we were tired, I mean we had just gone to a show and it was like 9 PM we were tired! I’ll post some pictures of the show later so you can see what I’m talking about.

Starting Over

Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Okay, I’ve done a few entries now and I think I’m starting to maybe figure this whole blog thing out. I was just going to delete all my posts, but someone was very nice and commented about Leo Laporte being fired from Tech TV and included a link for a petition to bring him back, so I want that to stay.

So anyway, this is the new beginning, pretend the other posts don’t exist, except the comment about Leo Laporte.

Hi, my name is PhiLL and this is my blog, but I think I’ll call it my PhloGG because that would be clever and witty. I lead a pretty boring life and don’t interact with people very much so I also don’t have very many interesting stories to tell. I do, however, feel the need to be super hip and cool so I thought I’d start a blog like everyone else and their mother.

Dude, Leo is Gone!

Saturday, April 3rd, 2004

So I have to admit that it’s been a long time since I’ve even had Tech TV, but I remember being incredibly excited to discover ZDTV back in my sophomore year and thinking that The Screensavers was the coolest thing. Now, 4-5 years after my discovering Leo Laporte and his entertaining TV programs on what is now Tech TV, he is gone.

Satisfaction

Saturday, April 3rd, 2004

For some reason there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing someone that deserves it get it from the man. While getting it from the man really sucks, someone else getting it is really nice to see. The most satisfying is to see someone passing you really fast on the road get a ticket, but I wasn’t quite that lucky. Instead, I got to see someone get pulled over for violating carpool laws. Here in the Seattle area there is actually a phone number you can call (764-HERO) to report carpool violators – it’s that big of a deal. Anyway, on one of the horrendous freeway interchanges, there’s a special lane for carpoolers to get around and merge in way ahead of the line. Yaeka and I were cruising along behind some large SUV in the carpool merge when all of a sudden he nearly gets into an accident cutting a car off in the right lane. As he moved from our view we saw a cop standing on the left shoulder behind his car. The cop just pointed to the guy in the SUV and then to the shoulder and we happily went on our way. That’s what you get SUV man!